My inciting incident (hitting rock bottom to emerge like a phoenix from the ashes)


I want to share a story with you about hitting rock bottom to emerge like a phoenix from the ashes.

Enough was enough when I realised no one was going to do this life for me. No man was going to rescue me, no lottery win was going to befall me, it was on me to make it happen, or not.

That realisation happened in the mix of arriving in Australia one (supposed) summer and the unravelling of every illusion I'd ever held about the world. Personal development had got me nowhere. That reality hit home like a lead balloon. I'd done all this work, pouring all this time and money and energy into "sorting myself out" to stop being the problem as to why I didn't have what I wanted and nothing I did had actually changed my reality.

Here I was with the man I loved and in the place that was supposed to be "my truth" doing work I supposedly "loved and was my truth" and I was drowning in unhappiness and every day I was getting darker and darker, no longer caring whether life worked out or not.

I was done talking the talk. I was done espousing and promoting the teachings and theories of others as to how to be happy and have the good life BECAUSE my world was not changing and had not changed. I was "doing what I loved, my truth intuitively derived" and I was dying of loneliness, depression and loss on the inside.

My world was as dark then as the day “Mr Right” had left circa 6 years earlier and my world had first fallen apart and, a $225,000 investment in myself later, my world was still as bleak as when I started. That kind of gets a girl thinking about life and how the heck you make your dreams an actual reality.

How can you want the world, the biggest amount of love, fun, abundance, joy, freedom, truth, leadership, voice, deeeep connection with yourself and others and none of that has materialised despite every last effort you've put in? How can it be that way? Why would I have these dreams if they weren't my truth and meant for me? Was there no justice at all?

What came next was a non-negotiable reaffirmation of where I began.

I am going to figure out how the heck to manifest the world, the leadership, the business, the abundance, the relationship, the freedom, the home, the ease and the FUN that I desire, in reality, now, not in the future, NOW, or I am going to die trying because seriously… without living that way, to me, I was like, what is the point?

It's morbid, it's heavy, it's unpleasant, it's not convenient and it's even hurtful to others, but you know what, can you imagine what it's like to feel like that way? Have you been there too? (Of course only privately, we don’t share those dark thoughts with the outside world.)

Some questions for you.

In the comments below, let us know:

Have you reached your inciting incident yet? Are you over figuring things out?

Or have you been there, done that, and you’re now flying?

I’d love to hear from you.

Here's to courageous women that never give up!

Much love,

Sofia xo


P.S. Have you taken the quiz, How To Be The Woman You Were Born To Be, yet? Who were you born to be and what is stopping you from being that woman today?

Find out in this short quiz, so you can leverage your skills, quit hiding and step into your true leadership role as a woman. You're going to really want to know this information about yourself if you're wanting to live a life as the powerful, happy and loved woman you were born to be!